Do opposites really attract with online dating on

Do opposites really attract with online dating  on

Most religions and spiritual traditions view successful committed relationships in terms of the idea that two become one, however it is becoming more popular that we are all individuals who enjoy our own ideas and goals and that we somehow blend those difference so that we become compatible even if we have big personality differences and even different life goals and values.

The irony is that being out of sync in a relationship is often what first attracts us to the single dater that we meet online. Not so much your clashing views on Game of Thrones or Love Island , but, more how we spend our leisure time.

That is why an on-the-go highly organised single dater finds a slow-paced single partner calming; someone who’s always late admires punctuality in a dater; a planner, who saves money and schedules social occasions well in advance, gets a thrill from someone more spontaneous, who is always living life by the seat of their pants.

Perhaps it is because we admire the difference in our attitude and we unconsciously hope some of the other daters style or admired qualities will rub off on us and either make us more organised or more relaxed. Perhaps we are just driven towards novelty and learning from the single dater in an effort to change our life and become more balanced. Maybe our extreme qualities sometimes worry us or even irritate us.

However at some point we stop celebrating the mismatch of our single relationship. The good news is that it’s likely unrelated to your single date discovering you really can’t stand Justin Bieber even though you have agreed that he is the greatest.

When we first meet a single dater our  brain releases chemicals that make us bond, so there’s an infatuation and an immediate sexual tension.

Later on into the relationship the chemicals are no longer produced in the same way, and you notice the other person for their disagreeable differences and that is when their irritating qualities start to really wind you up. This especially rings true as we are conditioned to perfection with photo shop and larger than life, lives on Instagram.

It’s at this point that we start looking at other couples’ experiences. ‘Perfection’ is all over social media and  that’s what we’re encouraged to strive for as we are surrounded by it online.  It also means that we can meet people more easily so if we are not matched sexually then the fact that one dater wants more casual sex and the other needs a committed relationship can mean tat we are not prepared to work out our differences.

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