Do you really want a relationship on

Woman in bra

Do you really want a relationship on

Most senior lesbians will say that they want to be in a relationship but when they are in a close relationship it is too much and they feel over whelmed. Many senior lesbians feel that they are happy being single through life and very happy living alone but being social when they need the company of other lesbian daters.

This hesitation to make a commitment is based on the fear of the relationship not working out and can be caused by past hurts and bad experiences.

It can be characteristic of reluctant daters that they have a fear of commitment that is not overcome by the desire for a close relationship with another lesbian dater. In almost all commitment fearers, low self -esteem is to blame for their relationship quandary and the fear of not satisfying their lesbian partner and then having to deal with their own feelings of guilt and inadequacy. This fear can come from past hurts and failed relationships in the past. This can make moving on with new lesbian daters harder, but life should be made with hope and positive attitudes for the future.

Senior lesbian daters with low self -esteem and who are sensitive cannot tolerate rejection and are easily hurt or offended by critical comments. The fact that they cannot imagine that someone could love them as they are, changes them in the relationship until they finally lose their own identity  This then leads to them feeling overwhelmed and smothered, which usually ends the relationship and causes heartache and hurts again.

Quite often it occurs that senior lesbians who suffer from commitment avoid dates can have strategies, which they use to suggest that they are not in a relationship lies with problems with others and has nothing to do with them and their lack of trust and self confidence. They may work extra hard and have no time for relationships. or they make contact with other lesbian daters who are totally unsuitable.

If you are one of these daters who suffer from these feelings the only way to break this avoidance cycle is to be honest with yourself and recognise the fear to commit and to bond is directly linked to the fear you having yet another failed relationship and that your self esteem may need building and some self care is important. This may not be easy however the goal should be self-acceptance and to be able to love oneself and accept oneself with all flaws and weaknesses.



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