Is a relationship with forty plus men all about sex on

Woman being kissed by man

Is a relationship with forty plus men all about sex on

Most forty plus men think sex is very important in a relationship and most women do, too, so when they are online dating they can fall into two groups on those that are looking for casual hook up sex and no strings attachment and those that are in for a committed long term relationship.

A man dater can place a high priority on sex, and want to be in a loving, committed relationship, with frequent sex. You can have both a committed relationship that includes friendship, care, fun and sex.

I’m not saying forty plus men in long term relationships don’t look around, or get tempted, or complain to their attractive single female friends about the sex less relationships that they are in. The reality is that people, both men and women cheat, that is why the divorce rate is so high. There are a million ways, large and small, that spouses betray each other.

It is worth being in a committed relationship when you are grateful for forty plus date fills up the car with fuel and checks the tyre pressure before you go on a long trip. When he sets the TV to record your favourite show or when she makes your favourite curry and makes sure that you have your favourite wine in the wine rack.

Nobody makes movies about the small acts of care that go on in committed long term couples. Most people don’t talk about these small acts of care and kindness in a functioning forty plus relationship. So why do some women feel instinctively that men only want sex? It could be that they have had some bad luck with men. Emotional abuse could play a part in this feeling.

Women are repeatedly told than men only value them for their bodies, for sex.

It’s an insult to both men and women, that either party is only interested in sex and this can be enforced by common feelings that women are supposed to be sexy, but we’re not supposed to like sex unless the circumstances are perfect. So if you have a lot of confused and conflicted feelings about sex you are not alone. Many forty plus women are not interested in living in a committed relationship and are quite happy for casual no strings sex and hook up dating.

My suggestion for dating women who are struggling with this conflict between love and sex  to take some time to reflect on why you view sex and love as being in opposition to one another. Worry less about how the forty plus man feels and thinks and concentrate on how you feel.

Getting in touch with your own feelings won’t necessarily prevent you from getting hurt again.  But the pain won’t be as severe if you don’t judge yourself for having sex and the emotions that are gained by that sexual intimacy and when you are intimate just enjoy the experience and don’t worry or judge yourself.

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