Online dating with manners and integrity on seniorlesbians.com July 2019
Surviving in the online dating world can be tough as it is about staying true to yourself and your values and boundaries This can be tough in day to day life so dating can make it even more of a challenge.
You will know what I mean if you are in the midst of dating online and trying to find a loving lesbian companion.. I sometimes feel that having integrity frightens people off and some forty plus daters don’t know what integrity is!
We all like to think we’re decent forty plus daters.. That we treat other single daters with respect; that if the tables were turned, we’d date ourselves.
However, most of us remain stuck in this vicious cycle of hurting and neglecting one another, sometimes on a day to day basis in our everyday life. The online communication on the dating site, the dating profile and the required pictures , texting, the early first dates, the small talk, the drama, the hooking up and breaking up and falling half in love and then having it all fall to pieces can be exhausting.
At some point or another, most of us feel like just giving up and become disillusioned, and need to take a break from the lesbian dating scene.
Maybe it is because we don’t like the person we are becoming or we wonder if there are any honest people left out there, and inevitably start to wonder if we’re the only honest dater left. Perhaps the pressure to make commitments too early in the relationship put you off or you feel that other lesbian daters are not ready for commitments when you are.
So does having integrity help? I think so but it takes practice …
Know what you stand for and what your boundaries are before you even start dating: You need to have standards. Before you even create your dating profile , you should have a clear list in your mind of what you will and won’t tolerate. No matter how much another dater disapproves of your standards, you need to stick to your ideals.
Once your lesbian dater crosses the line, pull them up but if they do it again, then they clearly don’t get it and this won’t change, let them go. Always be yourself and always tell the truth. If you don’t want to divulge a piece of information then say that but don’t lie in order to appease the other dater. Real relationships are built on honesty and telling lies is not the easier option to take.. Be honest from the outset and then you can hold your head up high because you were true to yourself and did the right thing, not the PC thing. If your beliefs are an issue then you are with the wrong forty plus lesbian dater.
Seek Character: Character shows up after the excitement and newness of a lesbian relationship wears off, and it is what makes or breaks a forty plus relationship. There is a difference between compatibility and character, so don’t get confused by attractions.. Character is how we treat others and what we tolerate in how others treat us. Don’t allow a lesbian date or partner to treat you any differently than a very good friend. Notice how they treat others, friends, colleagues, family, and even staff in restaurants and hotels. Character and integrity walk hand in hand. Look for one, and you will find the other.
Don’t accept second best: Dating is frustrating, hang in there and don’t accept second best because it’s the easy option. Lesbian relationships that are built on an average level of attraction can’t be expected to last. Anyway, you deserve better. Don’t settle for someone. Good things take time and patience. Being single is so much better than being with the wrong lesbian person.
Speak with honesty, Think with sincerity, Act with Integrity!